MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 760: THE FIRE-MEN

(Speed Comics 004, 1940) 

The Fire-Men make an impressive debut: dressed in bulletproof suits and wielding powerful flamethrowers, they carve a path of destruction through both New York City and the tank division that is sent to bring them to heel. Nothing seems able to stop these mysterious marauders!

Nothing, that is, until Landor, Maker of Monsters emerges from the shadows to offer his creature-based services to the US government. He'll fight on the side of law and order for once, but only in exchange for his hated enemy, Tony Torrence. It's a triumph of negotiation, in that there is absolutely no way that a patriotic fellow like Torrence could fail his country in its hour of need, even at the cost of his own life, the rube.

To his credit, Landor follows through, and while up to this point I thought that the Fire-Men might have secretly been more of his creatures under those suits the whole time, they are in fact what will eventually be a comics staple: the minor villain that exists only to be utterly trounced as a demonstration of the prowess of another character. Whatever the Fire-Men's goals might have been will never be revealed due to their grisly deaths at the claws of a giant fireproof cyborg.

MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 759: THE IRON HAND

(Master Comics 006, 1940)

While monitoring the world for trouble one day (using his Troublescope, natch), Master Man spots, in quick succession: an auto-gyro creating green rainclouds, a collection of mysteriously paralyzed wildlife, a full-fledged paralysis epidemic dubbed "the Living Death" in a nearby city, and the news that the preeminent scientist working to cure the plague has been murdered. He takes what I would say is a surprising amount of time to put two and two together and determine that these events might just be linked.

The culprit behind all of these occurrences is the arch-criminal known as the Iron Hand, due to his iron hand. He has been dispensing the Living Death disease into the city's reservoir using the green rain, and plans on expanding his operation world wide if he is successful in bringing the unnamed city under his heel. It's a real shame that much of the rest of the story involves the Iron Hand's minions vs Master Man in a series of retreat actions because the Iron Hand himself is barely present and he's just the kind of bombastic jagoff villain I love.

Master Man eventually works his way through all of the Iron Hand's low-level doofuses in time to crash his auto gyro in a lake and drown him. There's a teaser that suggests that maybe the drowning wasn't quite enough to defeat such a cool villain, but as this is the final Master Man comic, it has to stand.

NOTES - APRIL 2025

Aliens:

The adventures of Mars Mason, interplanetary mailman, are rife with amazing alien designs thanks to creator Munson Paddock, but the Tough-Tails of Planet Greentrees and their allies the top-hatted Spear-Men are possibly my favourite aliens that I've seen in a couple of years. (Speed Comics 009, 1940) 

The Speed Comics 010 Mars Mason adventure again features some more top-notch alien designs, including both the Mercurian leader with his enormous ears and his subjects with their amazing hats. The Uranian Monster-Men are okay, but the real star of that second set of panels is Mars Mason's amazing radiator suit that seems to help him weather both the cold of Uranus and the heat of Mercury with equal aplomb.

Drawn Without Reference:

A nice fuzzy spider created to menace Shock Gibson. (Speed Comics 010, 1940) 

Good Henchmen:

It's not really germane to the story, but I would like to highlight the emotional journey that this henchman goes through over the course of a scheme by upcoming Minor Super-Villain Comrade Ratski. midway through a scheme to release giant arthropods on an unsuspecting populace is a heckuva time to confront your dislike of bugs. (Speed Comics 010, 1940)

Honours:

Ted Parrish, aka the mystery man known as the Man With 1000 Faces, wins the Academy Award for his performance in a film called Thundering Hoofs. We must make some assumptions - that Thundering Hoofs was completed and released in 1940, for example - but I think that Parrish might just have gotten his Oscar at the expense of Jimmy Stewart's win for The Philadelphia Story. (Speed Comics 010, 1940)

Mars Mason, Interplanetary Mailman, has his likeness on the Mercury Mail five-something stamp. (Speed Comics 011, 1940)

MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 758: THE WIZARD

(Smash Comics 017, 1940)

The Wizard is your classic big-headed smart guy gang boss (his head is on the smaller end of the bighead spectrum but he accentuates it perfectly with the most unpleasant hairstyle I have ever seen). He and his gang (the Wizard Gang, natch) have been lying low for long enough that one of them starts getting squirrely and talking about leaving, with deadly consequences. The Wizard shoots him, is what I'm saying. And what a shame, because the Wizard has just finished his master plan: put bombs in little remote controlled planes and then use them to do robberies. Not the most groundbreaking scheme in the world, but not bad.

The plane bombs seem to be effective, as the Wizard Gang really cleans up on loot. Is there a major difference between a bomb mounted on a plane and one thrown by a guy? Evidently! 

Even more impressively, the Wizard's plan to just stay out of town for a while has had the intended effect of erasing all of his gang members from the collective police memory. It's quite remarkable, though again the simpler answer might just be that they are managing to stay out of sight of the cops.

All good things must come to an end, however, in this case in the form of Hugh Hazzard and his explosion-proof robotic exoskeleton. And of course once a superstrong robot is involved it's just a matter of time before the Wizard meets his end in a recklessly-hurled car full of explosives.

MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 757: THE MASTERMIND

(Smash Comics 017, 1940) 

The Mastermind, mysterious head of a jewel theft and smuggling ring, is actually Jason White, prominent jeweller, but he is also Rufus Kane, pawnbroker and fence. White established Kane as a patsy identity to absorb all of the suspicion of being the Mastermind until things get a little too hot, at which point Kane and the Mastermind disappear and Jason White is free and clear to enjoy his ill-gotten gains.

And it works! Rufus Kane manages to escape from the Invisible Hood and the police! It's not quite the perfect crime - I'm sure that a little forensic accounting would turn up some irregularities in White's finances, for instance - but it's close enough. Unfortunately for him, the Invisible Hood is on the case, though for once invisibility is not the key to the situation. Instead, White is caught when the Hood, as Kent Thurston, gets his buddy Police Inspector Battle to tell him that Kane is no longer a suspect and he proceeds to sashay past the two of them in his Suspicious Criminal cosplay. An ignominious defeat to be sure!

MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 756: THE MOLE

(Smash Comics 017, 1940) 

The Mole is an eccentric inventor who has developed one of the all-time greatest examples of technology that would net more safe profit if marketed for industrial purposes than if used for crime: the drilling machine. Rather than approaching the mining or construction industreis, the Mole opts for the rush inherent in stealing high-value, hard-to-fence objects like the unspecified crown jewels on display in New York's Maiden Lane.

In addition to the sheer digging power of his boring machine, the Mole's plan involved showing up at the crown jewels exhibition in disguise and casting a lot of suspicion on himself, thus leading to the police wasting their time in searching for a nonexistent bearded man. I was going to spend some time roasting him for going to all this trouble to establish a false identity while wearing a very distinctive red suit and bow tie, but a) it totally works and b) the far more roastable offense is including this ruse in the first place, as it's the only thing that ties him to the actual crime.

Even so, the Mole is on track to get away with his crimes, until  he compounds them by littering. Crack reporter Chic Carter gets the break that he's looking for when he is reminded that false beards exist by literally stepping on one, and once that happens it's all over: all Chic has to do is beat up a single nerd and he's solved the case and netted a free drilling machine in the process.

MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 755: STRADIVOUS

(Smash Comics 017, 1940)

There are a lot of comic book characters who derive their powers from or express them through music, but Stradivous here is the only one I know of who does so using a clarinet. This is going to be huge if we ever want to draft an all-star comics orchestra someday. He also has a really terrific look, with an eccentric choice in every single aspect of his head and facial hair - I'll even grudgingly admit that he pulls off a fu manchu, traditionally my least favourite mustache.

Like many other super musicians, Stradivous specializes in mind control: he can make the people dance and caper as he pleases with but a toot.

More importantly to the plot, Stradivous can also enthrall the entire crew of a ship by broadcasting his music over the radio, and he and his employer Dock Commissioner Jennings have been doing just that from a nearby lighthouse. Jennings gets the info on valuable incoming shipments and Stradivous wrecks the ships and then the gather up the loot.

The Ray is of course none too happy about all of this wanton wrecking and looting and steps in to put a stop to it. He approaches as Happy Terrill for some reason, and is thus vulnerable to Stradivous' hypnotic music. This doesn't stop Happy/the Ray for long, of course, but as he proceeds to beat the ass of every goon in the lighthouse a secondary drama plays out: two cops, drawn to the island by the hypnotic broadcast, spot Jennings and Stradivous fleeing the scene and summarily execute them for running. It's like a dog with a ball - if they see someone moving fast enough they just can't help themself.

MAD AND CRIMINAL SCIENTIST ROUND-UP 017

The science is flying fast and loose in here.

Professor Krauss' theories about a method for passing matter through matter were scorned and laughed at, so he turned them to crime, killing three and robbing the New York subtreasury*. Unfortunately for him he also gave an interview about his theories, which really helped research-savvy reporter Chic Carter track down and capture him. (Smash Comics 011, 1940)

*A Note on Subtreasuries: A frequent target for theft in the Golden Age or at least one that I've encountered 3-6 times, the New York Subtreasury was part of a US financial management system that distributed the storage of US gold reserves, but, critically, was phased out in 1920. I don't know what all these guys were after in there but there sure wasn't any gold.

Professor Abbot, disgraced former physics instructor at Stamton College, has developed a machine capable of paralyzing the population of a small city long enough for his men to rob it blind, but since the device also disrupts electrical signals this draws the attention of lineman Tom Dalton, aka Magno, the Magnetic Man. Abbot proves to be unusually well-prepared for the appearance of the local super-hero at his hideout and disables Magno with a prepared dose of knockout gas, which is really, really impressive, I have to say. 

Abbot's downfall comes in the form of every villain's worst enemy, the deathtrap. Sure, slinging Magno down a well to slowly drown is satisfying, in an evil kind of way, but it introduces the possibility of him escaping from the trap, and if he does that then you are screwed. Just stab him with a wooden stake or something if you need to avoid using metal!

Anyway, Magno of course escapes from the trap and ends up blowing Abbot, his machine, his hideout and his gang to high heaven by the medium of some hastily smashed up mad science equipment. (Smash Comics 014, 1940)

This unnamed scientist does a bit of old-fashioned grave robbing in order to get only the finest parts for his frankenstein (though the fact that he made sure to include the brain of a scholar doesn't seem to have played out in the mentality of the creature) which he then uses a growth hormone on and makes huge, super strong and bulletproof. Dubbed Brutus and deemed unstoppable, this creation is sent out to loot and plunder.

I always appreciate it when a character has to contend with a foe who is their rough equivalent from time to time - this is part of the appeal of Hellboy, for example - and Brutus offers just that opportunity for Bozo the Iron Man, being essentially a Bozo-shaped and-sized human of equivalent strength. Brutus manages to win the day in their first encounter by hitting Bozo over the head hard enough that Hugh Hazzard is knocked out through the armour of his robo-suit, but their second bout results in the deaths of both Brutus and his unnamed creator. (Smash Comics 014, 1940)

Across the US, buildings, trains, planes and ships begin sailing off into the sky, accompanied by a totally radical visual effect of a giant green mummy that I'm not 100% certain is actually visible to regular non-comic-reading witnesses - it's never commented on in any case, and if I saw a giant mummy carry a train off into the void I assure you that you would hear me speak of little else.

The culprit turns out to be one Doctor Robb, an unscrupulous archaeologist who murdered his colleague Professor Hill in order to steal an ancient artifact called the Power of Tutkamen (named after original owner Ra Tutkamen, natch).

Robb presumably refines his control over the power, as he seems to be using it to plunder passing shipping from his island base and that's hard to do if you're just blasting ships and planes into orbit. The party comes to an end once the Invisible Hood gets involved, as Robb discovers to his chagrin that having the power to levitate anything you see doesn't help you very much in a confrontation with an invisible guy. Rather than be captured, Robb does a header out the window of his lighthouse HQ. (Smash Comics 016, 1940)

MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 754: BELA JAT

(Smash Comics 016, 1940)

It's a classic setup: the embittered villain is released from prison and swears vengeance on those who put them there. In this case, the recently released figure is the mystic Bela Jat, who has just spent seven years behind bars for killing someone in a magical experiment and is mighty unhappy about it. Joining him are his excellently named and very loyal henchmen Shimego and Gar.

Jat sets out to capture and kill the three men who he blames for his incarceration: the police commissioner who captured him back when he was a mere detective, the district attorney who prosecuted him and the judge who handed down the sentence. He does this by the simple expedient of anonymously gifting each with a carved wooden idol containing "ecto-fluid" that Jat is able to animate into a human form via some sort of astral projection, whereupon he simply hauls them back to his underground lair.

This seems like a good place to raise an important consideration: Bela Jat clearly has real, working magical powers, and thus Detective Healy's testimony above about seeing him "transform the victim's body to a grayish fluid" is presumably truthful, but... so what? Like, legally, so what? I can absolutely see a mature super-hero universe like the present-day Marvel or DC ones having legal precedent covering the use of magic, but Bela Jat must have had a terrible lawyer if they didn't raise the question of how exactly he was responsible for this transformation, like, provably. And that's ignoring Jat's assertion that police interference is what caused the victim's death! Given these considerations, we must conclude that Bela Jat acted as his own lawyer.

Legalities aside, Jat manages to get ahold of the commissioner and the DA before the Ray gets involved and prevents his kidnapping of the judge. Showing unusual adaptability, he decides to forego the satisfaction of a triple revenge murder in favour of the more achievable double kill now followed by a single when it's convenient.

But before Jat can actually murder the two to completion the Ray shows up again and spoils everything: Gar and Shimego get their blocks knocked off, the prisoners get released before Jat's deathtrap can take effect and one of them (Police Commissioner Healy) gets to show off his skill at knife throwing by planting one in Bela Jat's back. 

JUDGE AND JURY REVENGE KILLER SCORE: 0/3 - that's right friends: Bela Jat is one of the worst to ever do it.