MAD AND CRIMINAL SCIENTIST ROUND-UP 025

I feel like we could avoid some of this unpleasantness if we made the Mad Arts a required part of the curriculum again.

Unnamed Sorcerer:

The Golden Knight and Alice are up to some good old-fashioned adventure, as they travel into the land of Kongola to seek out the cause of mysterious disappearances of people in adjoining Kooran. Just where are Kongola and Kooran? I'm going to say somewhere in what is now the United Kingdom since that that is where the Golden Knight is headquartered, but they could literally be anywhere given that he has started visiting his supernatural brothers in-law on the Moon and the Sun and thus has an interplanetary range.

Kongola turns out to be a good place for adventure, as it is filled with magical and monstrous threats including:

- hypnotic illusions

- carnivorous trees hiding behind those illusions

- club-wielding minotaurs

- giant bats

- ape men, who manage to carry off Alice

Pressing on, the Golden Knight arrives at a huge tower that he says has been built by the enslaved people of Kooran, but I never see them.

So just who is responsible for the kidnappings, the tower and the monsters? Why, this insane magician, who claims to have done it all so that he can be safe from floods and then promptly jumps off the tower into a... lake? and drowns. More importantly, why is he listed here in the space reserved for low-rent mad scientists? Because while comic book magic users fill a very similar ecological niche as super-scientists they don't have as great a population and consequently a far lesser rate of one-note losers, and I had to put him somewhere. (Fantastic Comics 019, 1941)

the Professor:

The Professor is a hypnotist of some stripe who uses his powers to turn lawmen into agents of his gang. He meets his match in detective Spencer Steel, who as a comic book protagonist is of course immune to such feeble things as mind control and quickly turns the tables on his would-be master. (Fight Comics 011, 1941)

Unnamed Scientist:

Though this unnamed scientist talks a bit like a kindly mentor who gives you super-powers in order to save mankind from aliens etc, in practice he just has a kid tied up in his jungle compound who he feeds potions to. Perhaps he had some sort of important plan that would justify this behaviour but if so it is lost to the ages when he wanders out into the jungle to get hilariously killed by an extremely jumpy snake.

The poor kid, meanwhile, grows into a giant and aimlessly wanders the countryside battling various world militaries until Power-Man shows up and tosses a bomb at his gut. It's a bummer ending that wouldn't happen in most comics and I kind of respect it. (Fight Comics 012, 1941)

Dr Moluk:

Dr Moluk and his assistant Scorpo have developed a machine that takes germs and bacteria and assembles them into multicellular organisms that resemble golden dragon-dogs. He intends to use these creatures to sow mass panic and ultimately take over the world. An evil plan, but a cool one. 

Unfortunately for Moluk, his assigned heroic enemy is Guy Gorham, who is billed as the World's Greatest Chemist but acts like the World's Most Thorough Ass-Kicker. He busts in, beats ten kinds of hell out of Moluk and Scorpo, and ends up feeding the former to his own dragons. It honestly feels like bullying by the end. (Great Comics 001, 1941)

ALIENS AND SO FORTH ROUND-UP 047

It's more of those dastardly (and not-so-dastardly) aliens!

Zutarians:

One day while on a trip to visit his magic brother in-law who lives on the sun, the Golden Knight and Alice are thrown off course and crash on planet Zutarn, where they are picked up by some friendly-yet-threatening Zutarians. As is often the case in Golden Age comics, the exact location of Zutarn is not stated - for bookkeeping reasons I'm going to say it's in an unspecified star system, but it's equally likely to have been intended to be somewhere within our own.

The dichotomy inherent in the friendly nature of the Zutarians versus the fact that they take our heroes away at gunpoint is soon explained when it is revealed that their leader Tyrno is an Earthling and a real underhanded creep tyrant. Just how did a 12th Century human get to another planet, let alone take it over? Did one of his siblings marry a magic spaceman as well?

Just how or why Tyrno is King of Zutarn becomes moot, because he attempts to murder the Golden Knight and marry Alice against her will, and in the process finally pushes the Zutarians a bit too far and so they murder him. I imagine that they must have been pretty close to doing so already, but their naturally hospitable natures finally had too much as Tyrno proved himself a bad host in addition to a tyrant. (Fantastic Comics 020, 1941)

In Amazing Mystery Funnies 022 (aka Amazing Mystery Funnies v3 006 for all those who like their issue numbering to be consistent), Nick Nelson of the Space Patrol infiltrates a seedy space casino in order to get the goods on its owner's misdeeds. As is only appropriate, the place is jam-packed with criminal types from across the Solar System, including:

Jovians: 

We have actually seen these fellows before, in the previous issue of Amazing Mystery Funnies and also about 37 instalments of "Aliens and So Forth" ago, in the person of the Haggur. I am strangely proud of Basil Wolverton for remaining so consistent with an alien design, even if it was from just one issue earlier.

Martians: 

Case in point: these two Martian space bandits. Just how are they related to the Martian species that Nelson's partner Kodi (who was in this comic not two pages earlier) belongs to, you reckon? I am very intrigues by this disc game that they are playing - do you reckon that it is closer to cards or dominoes?

Mercurians: 

And then by contrast with the Martians, we have the Mercurians, who absolutely look like they are part of the same species as the one who we met last time, but who are members of a different regional phenotype.

Saturnians: 

I am not fond of just how lumpy this guy is. Maybe it's a side effect of the drug smuggling and all Saturnians don't have to deal with this much texture in their lives.

Venusians:

We don't get a good look at these Venusians. They kind of look like smoother Mercurians - perhaps the two species are related somehow. 

Plutonians:

The owner of the casino is a fellow named Jol the Plutonian, and while he is a dirtbag of the highest order he doesn't handle Nelson as well as he could. Rather than merely kick the Space Patrolman out of his establishment (he literally has no evidence), he attempts to have him killed, fails and gets into a high-speed space chase that ends with him crashing into the Moon and dying. Very uncool.

Like many Wolverton aliens, Plutonians are just kind of lizardy humanoids with weird facial features, but I must say I enjoy the tentacle arms.

ALIENS AND SO FORTH ROUND-UP 045

No matter how many comic book aliens we catalogue, there are always more to see!

Fish-Men:

While fish men are nothing new, these particular ones have a couple of points of distinction: firstly they just look kind of nice, a bit more gracile and svelte than your usual humanoid fish. Secondly, they are in fact Moon Fish-Men, as they serve demi-god(?) and would-be King of the Moon Bakalma. This also makes them Moon Fish-Men from the 12th Century, as Bakalma is an enemy of former Crusader the Golden Knight. Finally, this means that many if not all of them were blown up by a volcano. (Fantastic Comics 017, 1941)

Martian Imp Men:

The Martian Imp Men are the servants of Martian villain Skomah the 7th, aka the Brain. They are unfailingly loyal and probably also mind-controlled, so we don't get much of an idea of their culture is like, but their strong resemblance to something like a cross between a Gremlin and a D&D goblin is certainly giving me ideas. (Fantastic Comics 001, 1939)

Martian Ogres:

The Martian Ogres are a also pledged to the service of the Brain. They are larger, seemingly more intelligent and a bit less spiky than their presumably-distant cousins the Imp Men, and as such are sent off in a space fleet to destroy the Earth with Anti-Earth Demolishing Rays.

Despite their best efforts - and whether it is due to mental conditioning or sheer love of the game they tray very hard - the Ogres are unable to overcome the full might of the Earth space fleet. (Fantastic Comics 002, 1940)

Martians:

In 1939, inventor Montague Dexter and his wife pilot an experimental rocket to Mars as a part of the New York World's Fair. Stranded there by damage to their vehicle, they live there among the Martian people until 2000 CE, when their son Rex flies the newly-repaired rocket back to his ancestral planet. Though Rex sets out with the promise to return some day, this is to my knowledge the only appearance of the Martians in question. I really like them! I think that the artist was going for an amphibian look over all, but the slight bovine cast to the face is quite pleasant. Plus it's nice to see some benevolent Martians now and then. (Mystery Men Comics 001, 1939)

DIVINE ROUND-UP 030

In today's exploration of the divine, we delve into the extended lore of Sir Richard of Warwick, aka the Golden Knight, starting with his three magical brothers in-law.

Mokon, King of the Moon:

Mokon, King of the Moon, appears at Sir Richard's window one night to claim the hand of his sister Marion in marriage, and though we the reader are hearing about this deal (and indeed about this or any of the Golden Knight's sisters) for the first time, Sir Richard is well aware of whatever deal his father made to ally his kingdom with the Moon itself.

Mokon gives Richard a silver rod as proof of his identity, and also possibly as some sort of dowry? This rod will come in quite useful later on, as it is magic and has the ill-defined ability to freeze things. 

It seems that this is a true arranged marriage, as we get to see the first meeting between Marion and King Mokon just before he flies her away to the Moon. At this point we must ask: just what's the deal with this guy? Is he a god? "King of the Moon" is certainly a deific title, and he has cool magical powers. Later issues will show that he actually lives on the Moon. There's going to be a lot of back and forth about just what these guys are as we go forward in this entry but the format dictates that I state up front that I'm going with Some Sort of Godly Entity.

God Style: Real Entity (Fantastic Comics 016, 1941)

Sukon, King of the Sun: 

Sukon, King of the Sun, shows up later in the same day to marry Richard's second (heretofore unseen) sister, Elaine. Sukon is like a less cool version of his big brother Mokon - he even has a slightly less cool token, the golden rod, which paralyzes people. 

God Style: Real Entity (Fantastic Comics 016, 1941)

Winkon, King of the Winds: 

After Sukon leaves, Lucifer himself (see the next Demonic Round-Up for him) wants to get in on the extended family action and shows up to marry Richard's third sister, Jane. Richard has two problems with this: 1. Jane is too young and 2. it's the freaking devil, man. Lucifer then makes off with Richard's lover Alice instead. Shortly thereafter we learn a third reason: that Jane is already promised to Winkon, King of the Winds, youngest and weeniest brother of Mokon and Sukon. He doesn't even have a token!

Though Winkon doesn't actually lift a hand to help out, he does tell Sir Richard how to get to Hell to rescue Alice. He also exits on a really unfortunately creepy line - just look at Alice's face!

God Style: Real Entity (Fantastic Comics 016, 1941)

Further Adventures of the Golden Knight and his Magical Brothers In-Law:

As is always the case when a wild new bit of lore is dropped into a comic I was initially afraid that we would see no more of the Golden Knight's new extended family, but I need not have worried:

Sir Richard and Alice take advantage of their new connections to visit Mokon and Marion on the Moon in the following issue. This does nothing to clear up the questions about the three brothers' divine status, but does allow us to see a cool moon-bird.

Bakalma:

We are also introduced to Mokon's rival for the throne of the Moon, Bakalma, who kidnaps Marion and Alice and holds them in his underwater palace - is Bakalma the god of the moon's oceans? If so, he must have a pretty good chance of being the only on in fiction.

In order to aid Richard in his pursuit of their loves, Mokon calls upon Xakolma, the Moon God, (God Style: Invoked (Real?)) to grant Richard the power to travel and breathe under water. Just what is the relationship between the humanoid entities like Mokon and Bakalma and the unseen Xakolma? We will receive no further clarification on that, so I'm going to consider them to be part of a godly continuum like the Greek pantheon, with Xakolma being further up the chain of divinity in a Uranus -> Cronus -> Zeus -> Herakles kind of situation.

Bakalma has a very cool palace shaped like a melting monster head, but seemingly no idea what he's doing. When Richard bursts in on him he's trying to wrest Mokon's secrets out of Marion, who has been on the Moon for like a month or two, tops.

Bakalma perishes when the nearby volcano Venturious unexpectedly erupts. Is Venturious part of the extended Lunar pantheon as well or was this just a fun coincidence? (Fantastic Comics 017, 1941)

Richard and Alice are on their way to visit Sukon and Elaine on the sun when they have the above exchange that doesn't serve to resolve the issue of whether the brothers are gods or not (Sukon's high technology allowing Elaine, a mortal woman, to live on the Sun, yes. Anything about Sukon being a mortal man, no). Sadly the rest of the issue is concerned with an unexpected detour to the planet Zutarn and nothing further is learned, and this is the final Golden Knight story so there will be no future revelations. We do however learn that the Sun is actually cold, and any heat that it emits is due to ultra-violet ultra-resonic rays being converted when they reach the atmosphere. You dolt. (Fantastic Comics 020, 1941)