ALIENS AND SO FORTH ROUND-UP 005

We got your aliens, plus some so forth. 

Moon Men: 

The Moon Men of 2050 CE seem to be just another part of the future Solar System society until they enter an alliance with magic super-crook Sarku so that their Moon King Tan Tan can meet his historical crush Elena. This of course brings them into conflict with Mr Mystic, as Elena is his fiance and he's just not that into her being kidnapped into the future. 

The Moon Men also have very upsetting feet. (The Spirit Section, 1 September, 1940)

the Alligator-Men: 

A lot of the Earth-based entries on the big list of aliens and such that I refer back to to while make these could best be described as "human offshoots," little pockets of humanity that have developed in isolation until they are something other than regular. I had a little debate about whether to include the Alligator-Men because they didn't seem other enough, but then I came to my senses. A whole society of guys who live in a cave somewhere in Brazil and dress in what must be wildly smelly lizard man costumes 24/7? Even if in-story they turned out to be a bunch of cosplaying accountants (spoiler: they didn't) that's worthy of comment. (Amazing-Man Comics 017, 1940)

Ape Men: 

And speaking of isolated populations of weirdos, ape men/ape-men/apemen and other missing link-style hominids are some of the most common. This particular group are from Malaysia and seem to be reasonably chill until Dr Fung and his pal Dan show up while following rumours pointing to the location of a lost heiress. Things get a bit too macho (and the old question of just what "white" means in 40s comics rears its ugly head once more) and Dr Fung and Dan have to shoot their way out. It's all very rude, frankly. (Wonderworld Comics 005, 1939)

Ape-Men & Lizard-Men: 

The Diamond Empire is a hidden civilization probably somewhere in Asia, located in an improbably large inaccessible region hemmed in by mountains - there's a reason that so many hidden kingdoms are underground, after all. It's a bit more plausible to have an implausibly large area underground and hidden than as a conspicuous blank spot on a map.

In any case, the lands around the Diamond Empire are like most other terrae incognitae in genre fiction, in that they are populated with a variety of humanoid civilizations, including Hawkmen, Batmen, and today's focus, warring nations of Lizard-Men and Ape-Men. The Lizard-Men sadly get the short end of the stick characterization-wise, being sneaking, cowardly ambushers with a uncomfortably horny king, but at least they have very cool faces - just love a black eye with a white pupil. 

The Lizard-Men get beaten up and pushed in a river by their ancient foes the much less cool Ape-Men who then themselves capture the the Rocket and the Queen of Diamonds. These Ape-Men are just what they are billed as: apelike humans, though the yellow heads and weird dents on top of their skulls set them apart slightly, even if they look dumb. 

There's a lot of malarkey involving the Rocket taking on an Ape-Man named Ungar for the role of tribal chief, and we get a glimpse of the Ape-Men's idea of how a trial by ordeal should work as the Rocket is made to enter the Cave of Horrors to prove his mettle, but eventually the majority of the Ape-Men just end up dumped into a chasm to their dooms. I assume that the Lizard-Men, merely damp, were very smug about this. (Pep Comics 004-005, 1940)

MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 563: SCORPIO

(Wonderworld Comics 008, 1939) 

We open on Dr Fung and his pal Dan making the acquaintance of write Corey Crews on a transcontinental flight. Crews claims that he is about to expose "the biggest phony cult in Frisco" and then is promptly murdered. The telegram that he received just before said murder reads: "you have failed Scorpio... fate is in your hands".

Whether there actually is a cult or not is never resolved but seems dubious, as Scorpio turns out to be operating a wholesale blackmail scheme under cover of some generic mysticism. When confronted with... not evidence but the mere hint that he might be under suspicion, Scorpio demonstrates his most prominent character trait, that he has absolutely no chill. He pulls a gun and takes off, not only dumping his costume on the ground and thus demonstrating that he was wearing a costume (versus just being a hollow-eyed seven-foot tall weirdo) but leaving all of his  blackmail material to be destroyed by Dr Fung.

Dr Fung arranges a challenge of mysticism between Scorpio and sinister stage magician Arno (there's a plot point involving Mira, a woman who has psychic abilities while under hypnosis but honestly this is an unnecessary level of investigative rigour given Scorpio's aforementioned lack of chill), during which Scorpio is immediately murdered with a mysterious arrow and just as immediately revealed to in fact be Scorpio's manservant. 

So who killed Scorpio/ who is Scorpio? Dr Fung's assistant Dan? Reporter Ted Collins? Stagehand and brother of former victim Crews? Sinister and satanic magician Arno?

Of course it's Arno. Who else could it be? And because Arno is Scorpio, Arno has no chill and tries to kill Dr Fung in front of an audience of hundreds rather than be exposed.

Questions left unanswered: was there ever an actual cult or was it just a cover for blackmail? Why did Arno/ Scorpio think that killing his servant would solve anything? Where did Arno get that cool arrow-shooting wand?

MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 559: THE COUNCIL OF VAMPIRES

(Wonderworld Comics 004, 1939)

Firstly: re the first panel, I really struggled with whether to call these guys the Deadly Council of Vampires or just the Council of Vampires. Still doubting myself.

Secondly: I am going to lay out these guys' whole deal up front in order to properly critique them in the manner I am compelled to: they are not, despite the name, vampires. Instead, they are what seems to be a cult devoted to a vampire named Anya and they are looking for an artifact called the Vampire Ruby that will allow her to live in "our world," which contextually seems to mean that she will be able to remain awake and alive during the daytime.

The Vampire Ruby turns out to be in the possession of an agent of the London Museum and here's where my critique comes in: the Singapore branch of the Council captures that agent and tortures him to death in an unsuccessful attempt to get him to give up the Ruby's location (he had it between his toes! Very sloppy searching on the Council's part). BUT!

THE CURATOR OF THE LONDON MUSEUM IS MARRIED TO ANYA! If they had just left the agent alone he would have taken it directly to their Queen! And then once protagonist Dr Fung and his pal Dan Barrister show up at the museum late on a Friday to say that they have Vampire Ruby, the curator invites them to his country estate for the weekend rather than (presumably) waiting until Monday office hours for them to come back with it!

If the curator (Luigi Bishop, btw) was just able to be cool for two and a half days he would have had the thing! Instead, he brings a famous detective to his mirror-filled home to meet his vampire bride.

But maybe I'm being unfair to the mortals in this story. After all, they're all in thrall to a vampire who is dumb enough to tip off Fung and his pal Dan before doing a clumsy room invasion on them when, again, just waiting a couple of days would have delivered them the ruby on a silver platter. Presumably some of that dumb impulsiveness rubbed off on the ordinary cult members.

It all ends in a huge fire, like maybe a third of all vampire stories. Anya and her husband perish and the Singapore branch of the cult has to find something else to do on weekends.