MAD AND CRIMINAL SCIENTIST ROUND-UP 020

If I've learned one thing from comics it's to never turn your back on a scientist. 

Henry Falcon is one of a trio of scientists, along with John Robin and John Sparrow, who have been made the beneficiaries of the whimsical will of millionaire Mortimer Bird. This is of course one of those special murder mystery wills in which the payout increases for any survivors as fellow inheritors are killed off, and Henry Falcon is all about getting that money through murder. He even goes the extra mile to make all of the deaths bird themed in an attempt to throw suspicion on Mortimer Bird, thanks to some special powder he has discovered that makes birds go crazy and peck people to death.

You can't just have something like that bird-madness powder around without some stringent safety protocols, however, and Falcon manages to get some on himself while pretending to be Mortimer Bird's private nurse. So long Henry. (Top-Notch Comics 010, 1940)

Dr Exton, inventor of the super explosive Tekite, almost sells his creation to a fascist dictator but reforms after he is left on an island for a half hour by the Bird Man. (Weird Comics 004, 1940)

Menar, a big-eared scientist of the unspecified future time occupied by Typhon, has invented a device called the Tidal Wave Annihilator which he unsurprisingly uses to create tidal waves. The tidal waves in turn sink ships which Menar and his men then loot. It's a pretty foolproof plan, and Menar even manages to capture Typhon when he comes to investigate, but like many a mad scientist before and after him, Menar has underestimated just how evil he can be before his own daughter turns against him. Typhon escapes with Ina Menar and brings the whole operation crashing down around her father's pointy ears. (Weird Comics 006, 1940)

Karnak is a scientist of the year 5940 CE who has already had some measure of success, having conquered and mind-controlled an entire planet of beefy scaly guys, and I must assume is now at a loss as to what to do with himself. Why else would he send a heavily armed spaceship to Earth to extort them into giving him a lady to be his bride? I mean, there have to be at least a few women who would be into him if he just put himself out there on Space Tinder - everyone likes a bad boy, after all. 

Karnak seems to take it weirdly personally when his kidnapped bride-to-be cooperates with Blast Bennett to take down his whole operation, and tris to feed the two of them to his pet tiger. They'd be doomed if Blast wasn't so good at cat-wrestling, but as it stands they escape handily.

Karnak also commits the cardinal sin of not checking his captive spaceman for any ray guns he might have on his person, and catches an explosion bullet to the gut for it. Alas for the inhabitants of the unnamed planet he was in charge of, Karnak dealt in the kind of mind control that kills its subjects when the controller dies. Alas for the beefy scaly guys. (Weird Comics 007, 1940) 

MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 847: THE WIZARD OF ZORO

(Weird Comics 004, 1940) 

The Wizard of Zoro really takes the prize for the Most Charming Atrocity of 1940 when he swoops down on a small town and turns everyone into the kind of semi-anthropomorphic giant frogs that you get in Victorian greeting cards. Do I love that he then enslaves the frogs? No. Do I endorse the fact that he singles out an attractive young woman for special torment by turning her boyfriend into a snake? Of course not. Nevertheless, the frogs are charming and dear.

Perhaps the Wizard of Zoro is riding a little too high on his great ranomancy (a word I just made up to describe frog-based magic) because when the Sorceress of Zoom proposes an alliance between the two of them he gets all high and mighty about how he doesn't need anyone else to be a cool and powerful wizard. (sidebar: I think it shows a lot of maturity for the Sorceress to attempt this partnership with someone who looks nearly identical to her recent tormentor the Wizard. It's a real shame that the Wizard of Zoro was too much of a jerk to join her)

The Sorceress of Zoom is of course more than a match for some lousy frog wizard, which she proves by incinerating his lousy palace. 

The Wizard's only response being to further transform his subjects, from frogs into mice, is inadequate at best. And the frogs were the only thing he had going for him, so he's really shooting himself in the foot here. 

The Sorceress ultimately puts this sad excuse for a duel out of its misery by weaponizing the boyfriend-turned snake. Once the Wizard of Zoro is consumed by his former victim he is forced to restore him to human form lest he be digested, and it seems that the Wizard's magic works like an old string of Xmas lights because undoing one spell turns out to also restore all of the mice as well.

All that's left is to smack the Wizard one before everyone goes home.

MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 842: THE STONE MAN

(Weird Comics 001, 1940)

Here's the thing about the Stone Man: I have no idea what his deal is, aside from the fact that he's a creep. See, the Bird Man is just flying around the desert one day, as is his wont, when he runs into some guys searching for one of the guys' daughter. After flying around for a bit, he discovers her in an isolated canyon, being sexually menaced by a weirdo and his animal companions. Why is he called the Stone Man? Not a clue. He's much more of an animal guy than a stone guy, in that he doesn't appear to have any stone-like qualities.

After the Bird Man defeats the Stone Man's coyotes, a vulture flies off with the girl and the Bird Man sets off in pursuit. He gets her away from it and returns her to her father and then... that's it. We see no more of the Stone Man. It's very anticlimactic!

MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 835: KING QUANTUS

(Top-Notch Comics 007, 1940)

Streak Chandler's adventures on Mars conclude with a space battle with Kalox, deposed king of the Gas Men, as he attempts to destroy the planet in retribution for losing his throne. Streak and his pals prevent this, but at the moment of their triumph they find themselves in the clutches of yet another villain, the pirate King Quantus, and spirited away to his secret headquarters on the Jovian moon Io.

In addition to being a space pirate, King Quantus is big on slavery: he not only maintains a creepo harem of captured women but has a laboratory full of enslaved scientists. All this does nothing to save him from a good old American ass-kicking once Steak Chandler manages to sneak up on him, however.

Quantus rallies his forces in an attempt to destroy Chandler and recapture his companions, but while he is doing so, Chandler's erstwhile ally Lura leads a revolution of Quantus' many slaves and captives.

Lura, having been recently romantically rejected by Streak, turns on her former companions and announces herself as the new space pirate queen of Io. Between her and the still-at-large King Quantus, Streak's space adventures appear to be just beginning but alas, we never get to see any of them as this is the final installment of his strip. 

MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 831: THE BLACK DEATH

(Thrilling Comics 010, 1940)

Perry Knight has a problem: instead of starring as the titular costumed antagonist of stage production "The Black Death" he has been jailed for murder. He can't remember doing it, but evidently he gunned down his costar Tinker in cold blood during the dress rehearsal.

Enter Peggy Allen, the Woman in Red, who quickly discovers that there is a second Black Death running around when they have a confrontation in the wings. Is this a foolish move on the part of the second Black Death, who presumably wants Perry Knight to be the sole suspect in the murder? Absolutely it is.

Peggy manages to get Knight bailed out to continue the role of the Black Death as bait for the real killer, and indeed the false Black Death attempts to murder Tinker's replacement at the same point in the show as before. The Woman in Red of course manages to prevent this second murder, and after some running around etc the Black Death is unmasked to reveal... Weber, the theatre owner!

It turns out that Weber is in love with lead actress Linda Lytell and that this murder/framing/attempted murder/kidnapping (he kidnaps Lytell before the second murder attempt) is all part of an effort to get him out of the way so that Weber can woo her. A foolish plan, and not just because Weber does not appear to have shared his feelings with Lytell at any point, but because literally the first thing that happens in the story is Lytell rejecting Knight, something that Weber might have learned if he had engaged in some conventional human conversation and courtship before jumping straight to adopting a costumed persona.

Also, the critics hate the play.

MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 797: JARK AND ZORG

(Target Comics v1 007, 1940)

Jark and Zorg, an alien duo of unknown provenance, continue the trend of Spacehawk villains who could broadly be described as space pirates. They also a) have a very hard pair of names to remember without accidentally mixing up some of the letters and b) are possibly the most phallic-looking alien designs that weren't just ambulatory ding-dongs that I have ever seen.

Jark and Zorg's plan is... not simple, per se, but it doesn't have a lot of steps. It goes like this: 

1) get a planetoid and fit it with propulsion devices 

2) fly around until you are in the path of a space freighter 

3) use a tractor (bumper) beam to ensure that the freighter only crashes a little, so that the precious cargo is okay

4) unleash a bunch of creatures called Snurls to wipe out the passengers and crew

5) loot and profit

It's a solid enough plan, albeit one which requires a lot of advance effort and advanced technology, and Zorg even adds a step 6) kidnap a lady off of the first ship they bring down and transform her into an attractive phallus-alien for a little non-Jark companionship. Unfortunately for him, this particular lady is the same one who Spacehawk rescued from Grovak the Martian not two issues prior, and he seems to have some sort of Superman/Lois Lane ability to sense when she is in mortal peril, as despite Zorg's certainty that their planetoid will never be discovered by the hero he is in fact already in orbit.

Jark makes a go at taking care of Spacehawk with his atom rifle but it's simply not enough firepower and he ends up mashed to a pulp.

Zorg, building on his deceased partner's efforts, seems to succeed where Jark failed, and further managed to unmask the Spacehawk to reveal that he was a robot the whole time!

OR WAS HE? No, he wasn't. Instead, the Spacehawk turns out to be a man with a collection of robot doubles that can substitute for him or otherwise aid him in his crusade against evil. Zorg ends up joining his partner in whatever afterlife that ding-dong aliens get and Spacehawk gets a smooch.