ALIENS AND SO FORTH ROUND-UP 047

It's more of those dastardly (and not-so-dastardly) aliens!

Zutarians:

One day while on a trip to visit his magic brother in-law who lives on the sun, the Golden Knight and Alice are thrown off course and crash on planet Zutarn, where they are picked up by some friendly-yet-threatening Zutarians. As is often the case in Golden Age comics, the exact location of Zutarn is not stated - for bookkeeping reasons I'm going to say it's in an unspecified star system, but it's equally likely to have been intended to be somewhere within our own.

The dichotomy inherent in the friendly nature of the Zutarians versus the fact that they take our heroes away at gunpoint is soon explained when it is revealed that their leader Tyrno is an Earthling and a real underhanded creep tyrant. Just how did a 12th Century human get to another planet, let alone take it over? Did one of his siblings marry a magic spaceman as well?

Just how or why Tyrno is King of Zutarn becomes moot, because he attempts to murder the Golden Knight and marry Alice against her will, and in the process finally pushes the Zutarians a bit too far and so they murder him. I imagine that they must have been pretty close to doing so already, but their naturally hospitable natures finally had too much as Tyrno proved himself a bad host in addition to a tyrant. (Fantastic Comics 020, 1941)

In Amazing Mystery Funnies 022 (aka Amazing Mystery Funnies v3 006 for all those who like their issue numbering to be consistent), Nick Nelson of the Space Patrol infiltrates a seedy space casino in order to get the goods on its owner's misdeeds. As is only appropriate, the place is jam-packed with criminal types from across the Solar System, including:

Jovians: 

We have actually seen these fellows before, in the previous issue of Amazing Mystery Funnies and also about 37 instalments of "Aliens and So Forth" ago, in the person of the Haggur. I am strangely proud of Basil Wolverton for remaining so consistent with an alien design, even if it was from just one issue earlier.

Martians: 

Case in point: these two Martian space bandits. Just how are they related to the Martian species that Nelson's partner Kodi (who was in this comic not two pages earlier) belongs to, you reckon? I am very intrigues by this disc game that they are playing - do you reckon that it is closer to cards or dominoes?

Mercurians: 

And then by contrast with the Martians, we have the Mercurians, who absolutely look like they are part of the same species as the one who we met last time, but who are members of a different regional phenotype.

Saturnians: 

I am not fond of just how lumpy this guy is. Maybe it's a side effect of the drug smuggling and all Saturnians don't have to deal with this much texture in their lives.

Venusians:

We don't get a good look at these Venusians. They kind of look like smoother Mercurians - perhaps the two species are related somehow. 

Plutonians:

The owner of the casino is a fellow named Jol the Plutonian, and while he is a dirtbag of the highest order he doesn't handle Nelson as well as he could. Rather than merely kick the Space Patrolman out of his establishment (he literally has no evidence), he attempts to have him killed, fails and gets into a high-speed space chase that ends with him crashing into the Moon and dying. Very uncool.

Like many Wolverton aliens, Plutonians are just kind of lizardy humanoids with weird facial features, but I must say I enjoy the tentacle arms.

MINOR SUPER-HERO ROUND-UP 094

Super-heroes, coincidentally arranged in ascending order of notability!

Kalkor:

A faithful priest of Isis c.1000 BC, Kalkor is restored to life at the same time as Nagana, the Queen of Evil, as a foil to her power. He is empowered with the same immortality and comic book magic as Nagana so that he may combat her effectively (and perhaps as a way for Isis to make up for crushing him to death as a byproduct of collapsing a temple on Nagana to put an end to her evil ways).  

Important note: though many Golden and Silver Age super-heroes may act like they have taken a vow of celibacy, Kalkor is one of the few who may have actually done so, as part of his Christianity-influenced version of Isis-worship. (Fantastic Comics 022, 1941)

Kalkor is not really a super-hero in the traditional sense - he doesn't roam around looking for guys mugging old ladies or Fifth Columnists sabotaging munitions factories. Instead, he follows Nagana around and foils whatever scheme she pursues in her ongoing effort to conquer the world. And like many characters who operate purely in reference to the actions of others, Kalkor is kind of dull.

In order to get around our era more easily, Kalkor adopts the funny-about-twenty-years-ago-our time alias of John Kerry. He also seems to shop at the same Big Coat Store as fellow Fox super-hero Samson.

Categorized in: Day Job (Priest), Origin (Divine Empowerment, Mystic Mutate, Resurrected Mystic Champion)

the Gladiator:

The Gladiator is Dan Kenneth, a "famous art connoisseur." This baffled me hardcore until I realized that there was a pretty good chance that he was in fact an art conservationist or something like that, and sure enough a critical aspect of the villain's scheme in his first outing is having Kenneth "recondition" a painting he has just bought, and in his second and final appearance they just go ahead and call him an art dealer.

Kenneth gets mixed up in an overly-complicated plot by the aforementioned client to steal his own painting and still get cash - not insurance fraud but a second, stupider thing, see the upcoming entry on the Monster for further details - that is in fact so ridiculous that he can't even convince the police to help him out. What else can he do but engage in a bit of vigilante justice in such a situation. He puts on a Roman gladiator outfit that he happens to have laying around, grabs his favourite cestus and bowling pin and sets out to meet his destiny. And then, as so frequently happens, the one-time foray into vigilante justice becomes a full-fledged hobby. (Fantastic Comics 023, 1941)

Categorized in: Activities (Gladiators), Day Job (Art Dealer), Powers (Weapons Master)

the Avenger:

The Avenger is maybe the third most popular Street & Smith pulp character, and as such was adapted to comics in the early 40s and again every time the old gang gets together for another shot at the comics page in DC Front Line or wherever. Alas, just like his pulp career, none of the Avenger's forays into comic books last very long, especially as compared to those of Doc Savage or the Shadow.

Maybe I'm wrong, but the problem with comic book adaptations of the Avenger always seems to be that they take a premise like "solder of fortune loses family to criminals and thus sets out to balance the scales, armed with face that can be moulded like putty, a gun called Mike, a knife called Ike and a diverse cast of assistants called Justice Inc" and boil it down to "unsmiling widower tackles depressing crime." (Shadow Comics v1 002, 1940)

Categorized in: Accessories (Sidekicks), Origin (Mental Mutate, Motivated by Loss), Power (Moldable Face)

Betty Ross:

Betty Ross, aka Agent X-13, is a government agent who first appears as the seemingly-elderly-but-really beautiful guardian of the curio shop that conceals the super-soldier facility where Steve Rogers becomes Captain America (okay, it's not 100% clear that this is Betty Ross in the original comics, but retcons have firmly established that it is). She goes on to take part in many of Captain America and Bucky's Golden Age adventures - more, in fact, than the original Cap/Bucky duo (retcons again, being deployed to explain how they kept having adventures after they were supposedly frozen and dead, respectively. Or frozen and frozen, depending on the retcon). Late in the WWII era she even adopts a costumed identity of her own: Golden Girl.

Betty plays a big enough role in these Golden Age comics that I was tempted to give her a full-fledged Super-Hero page such as characters like Lois Lane or Alfred will probably get but alas, she has been almost entirely replaced by Peggy Carter in comics published in the Silver Age and beyond. Is this because she shares a name with the Hulk's love interest (who she was made the great aunt of in yet another retcon)? Possibly! (Captain America Comics 001, 1940)

Categorized in: Accessories (Rubberoid Mask), Day Job (FBI Agent), Team Membership (FBI)

MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 970: THE QUEEN OF EVIL

(Fantastic Comics 022, 1941)

Nagana, high priest of Isis in Thebes, achieves great power and the secret of immortality through her position and is seemingly consumed with megalomania. Importantly, these magical secrets do not appear to be tied to her faith in Isis so much as accessed as a result of it, as she retains them even after she rejects Isis and declares herself to be her enemy. She sets out to use this power to become the ruler of Thebes and sets her eyes on a hot new priest named Kalkor as her chosen consort.

Trouble is, Kalkor rejects her due to her casual Isis-disrespect (and possibly also a vow of chastity? It can be hard to pick out specifically why a super-manly comic book character is going "ew, girls") and Nagana attempts to have him killed for it. Kalkor survives due to his aforementioned manliness and confronts her, at which point she goes on a tirade so blasphemous that Isis drops the entire temple on them, killing hundreds spelling the end of Thebes as a major religious centre (in what is probably a big coincidence, the real-life Egyptian city of Thebes went also into decline about three thousand years ago, but due to an administrative scandal rather than divine wrath).

Though Nagana is immortal, Isis curses her and transforms her to stone, until she is unearthed in the present day and exposed to moonlight. So restored, she murders the man who found her and vows to take over the world.

Though Isis is much reduced in the modern world, she is able to resurrect Kalkor and give him the same powers as Nagana as a foil to her evil schemes (luckily for humanity, Kalkor hold Nagana responible for the destruction of Thebes rather than Isis' fairly broadly-applied wrath).

For all her big talk of taking over the world, Nagana's only evil scheme of 1941 consists of her attempting to con an old man out of his fortune using a fortune telling con that is enhanced by a little real magic. She is also foiled by Kalkor with almost ridiculous ease. But fear not! Nagana and Kalkor will return in 1942 for more thrilling conflict!

Categorized in: Day Jobs (Priests), Origins (Resurrected (Petrified Humans)), Royalty (Queens)

CATALOGUE OF WOUNDS 009

How can we have nice things if they keep getting so dinged up?

the Black Terror:

It might look like the Black Terror ('s secret identity) is knocked out by falling down a flight of stairs onto his head, but according to him it was actually a bullet creasing the old skull that did the trick. (Exciting Comics 010, 1941)

This is a tough one: the Black Terror is shot and nearly killed, and he kind of seems to be clutching his head but the gun is aimed at his torso as it fires. Guess we'll file this under "shot, unspecified." (Exciting Comics 012, 1941)

the Black Fury:

Shot in the left shoulder and tossed out of a moving car. (Fantastic Comics 020, 1941)

Chuck:

The Black Fury's sidekick Chuck is shot in the ever-popular left shoulder and knocked clean off of a building by one of the Fang's henchmen, but makes out okay nonetheless. (Fantastic Comics 019, 1941)

Dr Hypno: 

I never expected a fellow whose whole shtick is putting his mind into animal bodies to get mixed up in the action enough to take a wound, but here he is: poor ol' Dr Hypno getting branded on the chest by a crook. (Amazing-Man Comics 018, 1940)

the Mask:

The Mask, in his civilian identity of District Attorney Tony Colby, joins the "skull creased by a bullet" club. EDIT: I wrote this without checking and it turns out that this is the second time that the Mask's skull has been creased, so he was already a member of the club. My apologies. (Exciting Comics 011, 1941)

Mighty Man:

Mighty Man gets shot through the left shoulder. Considering his size at the time (enormous) he's lucky that the guy didn't score a headshot. (Amazing-Man Comics 014, 1940)

the Shark:

The Shark (temporarily weakened by the loss of his magic knife) gets whipped with belts by a bunch of jerk Nazis. (Amazing-Man Comics 011, 1940)

A couple of issue later, the Shark gets stabbed in the gut by his own dang knife. Yes, the stab wound is swiftly turned back on his attacker by the weapon's magic, but you can't tell me that the Shark doesn't get stabbed first. (Amazing-Man Comics 013, 1940)

Super Ann:

In one of Super Ann's handful of adventures she gets a real one-two: a bullet-creased scalp followed by a near-drowning. (Amazing-Man Comics 025, 1941)