MAD AND CRIMINAL SCIENTIST ROUND-UP 027

A series of cautionary tales for budding young scientists.

Orid Dass:

Orid Dass is your standard jungle scientist: he's out there making apes into men and men into apes, all for the love of the ape-man game. He also has the distinction of being the only foe faced by Fantomah the one post-Fletcher Hanks adventure in which she is still kind of a jungle demigod rather than a jungle hero who knows some magic.

In that capacity, Fantomah does a little man/ape transformation of her own, turning both Dass and his ape-men into little green monkeys until he reverts his latest victim (a white guy) to human form, though why she couldn't just do it herself is not explored.

Dass briefly gets one over on Fantomah by dropping her into a pit lined with radioactive ore, as this is also the one issue in which her powers are neutralized in the presence of radiation, but is subsequently crushed when his entire base collapses on top of him - the downside to the convenience of building your science compound on top of a huge radioactive cavern system, I guess. (Jungle Comics 016, 1941)

Doktor Teufel:

Doktor Teufel lives on the aptly-named Death Mountain and spends his time enslaving passing US aviators and building advanced radio-powered technology, implicitly in service to some nefarious plot against the United States. He's a prime example of the kind of villain who is perfectly positioned to achieve all of his goals but who has not planned for the fact that a radium-powered super-hero - specifically Radior, the X-Ray Powerman - is going to walk fly a convertible through his front door and dismantle his entire operation in twenty minutes. (Key Ring Comics, 1941)

Dr Dietz:

We meet Dr Dietz after he has successfully stolen a high-powered experimental aircraft, and he spends so much time bragging about this and about how great a weapon it will make once he has mounted his disintegrator ray cannon (or "death-beam") on it to Federal Agent Steve Crawford* that he never actually gets around to mentioning whether he intends to use it for espionage or for personal gain. He himself is disintegrated before he gets a chance to clarify. (Liberty Scouts Comics 002, 1941)

*Referred to as "Steve Crawford, Undercover Man" despite the fact that in this, his only recorded adventure he is operating under his own name and openly as a lawman.

the Mad Scientist:

The aptly-named Mad Scientist has been setting forest fires as a way of capturing strapping young firefighters from the nearby CCC* base as fodder for his experiments. He is aided in this by his mind-controlled niece Nancy and a huge goon named Gaston (who wears a very cool-looking protective suit while traipsing through the burning forests).

And just what is the radical theory that has driven the Mad Scientist to both the fringes of society and the outskirts of scientific ethics? Why, he believes that if he electronically incinerates a human body just right then it will become "solid gas." Exactly what does this mean? I cannot really say, but going by the available evidence from his eventual successful creation the result is a living, tangible human with a massively decreased density and a radically different metabolism. 

*the Civilian Conservation Corps, a New Deal work program.

As I said, the process is eventually successful, turning a CCC firefighter named Jim into the mighty Fire-Man, but while the Mad Scientist was able to conceptualize and bring into existence an entirely new form of life he was not as visionary about the benefits of proper lab safety and both he and Gaston were fatally exploded in Fire-Man's subsequent attempt to escape his captor. (Liberty Scouts Comics 002, 1941)

MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 986: THE ZOMBIE MASTER

(Jackpot Comics 001, 1941)

Zarro, the Zombie Master, is yet another take on an evil Haitian voodoo practitioner: we've seen 'em before and we'll see 'em again. He is recruited by a couple of pseudo-Nazis named Karl Bezdek and Hugo Kempf for help in setting up a factory that uses zombies as workers in the production of war material for the Axis. Like the other Zombie Master we have covered, this one is a vibrant shade of green, just like a cartoon zombie, though I'm not entirely sure when that particular colour association started.

I am going to lay out Karl and Hugo's plan before telling you why I'm mad about it:

1. Pose as magazine photographers in order to get total access to the defense factories in the as-yet unnamed city that Mr Justice calls home (the risk of targeting a city with a super-hero is leavened by the fact that it has the world's most gullible mayor).

2. Photograph as many workers as possible.

3. Zarro uses the photographs as sympathetic magic links to the workers (plucking them out of the photographs = very cool) and kills them.

4. The worker's bodies are stolen and shipped to Haiti for use in the factory.

So why does this plan make me mad? Because I want to critique it but I can't. See, it's a bad and inefficient plan with a lot of unnecessary steps, but only if the only goal is to make money. But that isn't the goal! Karl and Hugo are spies for a fascist nation! Their goal is to hamper US war production while simultaneously boosting that of their own country using the Haitian zombie factory, and they have done both! It's maddening! The only real flaw I can find is that the graverobbing and body shipping are a bit involved but I can't really think of a good alternative that doesn't introduce more points of failure to the plan.

The risk of super-hero vs reward of gullible mayor calculation that we discussed earlier does in fact prove to be the trio's downfall, as Mr Justice is able to make his way to Haiti (and please note the surprisingly grody-looking zombies that he finds there) thanks to a minor kidnapping subplot and strangle the Zombie Master, which in turn restores the workers to life. One smashed up Axis factory later, everyone is on the way back to [CITY NAME NOT FOUND].

Categorized in: Generica (Masters), Powers (Magic (Create Zombies)), Supranormal Beings (Zombies))

MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 979: PROFESSOR OCTOPUS

(Four Favorites 001, 1941)

Professor Octopus was honestly due for a trip to the next Problematic Update, but that is a place for characters who I feel should be acknowledged but who I don't want to talk about too much. Who could resist talking about a guy like Professor Octopus, even if he is a weird sinister Asian spy caricature?

Prof Octopus comes to the attention of Magno when his men round up Magno's sidekick Davey for defending a too-inquisitive reporter named Ferren from their tender attentions. He cuts quite a figure, with his seven-foot frame, four arms, claws and fangs (plus a really innovative choice of clothing - seldom do you see the multi-armed go with Big Sleeve rather than a more intensive but presumably less accommodating tailoring choice). Sadly, this is all mere window dressing that serves to make him an example of the evil Asian = inhuman monster trope. The "Octopus" part of his name might as well refer to the fact that he operates out of a submarine as that he has six limbs, for all that he uses them.

Octopus is also quite easily defeated in his two major interactions with Magno and Davey, first by a mere chair to the dome while he is strangling Ferren (and note that he is using all four arms to do it in the only exception to my earlier complaint) and then by the two of them despite his big sword (that he only uses two hands to wield - why not add a couple of shields or some daggers to that loadout?) that is of course magnetic and thus easily countered.

Though Professor Octopus' submarine ends up on the bottom of the ocean, the man himself escapes to fight another day, only not really because as far as I can determine this is his only appearance. Still, better to survive an encounter with a super-hero and then fade into obscurity than die in a sinking submarine, as I always say.

This is the second octopus-themed villain to face Magno - will there be another?

Categorized in: Animals (Octopodes), Ideologies (Pseudo-Japanese Fascists), Powers (Extra Limbs)

MAD AND CRIMINAL SCIENTIST ROUND-UP 024

Let's spare a thought for all the mad lab assistants who do so much for so little credit. 

Rokula:

Rokula's plan is simple: kidnap inventors and then use his mind control machine to force them to work for him. Hey, it's a classic for a reason, but it's also a plan with a high chance of attracting super-heroic attention such as that of Zongar the Miracle Man.  

Rokula might be a fan of the classics but like so many of his peers he is no as into workplace safety, and he meets his end when Zongar sends him careening into his own equipment with a forceful punch. (Silver Streak Comics 007, 1941)

Quislor:

Quislor is a fellow who has developed technology that turns aircraft into remote-controlled drones, and is using it to send bombers out to destroy airfields across the US, thus reducing its ability to field an air force. Though he never quite gets around to saying just why he's doing this it is presumably in service to some sort of fascist plot.

Like all air-based crooks within Cloud Curtis' flight range, Quislor soon learns that the only reward for messing with the sanctity of the wild blue yonder is a sock to the jaw and a trip to the hoosegow. (Silver Streak Comics 014, 1941)

Professor Giess:

Professor Giess, a crypto-fascist scientist with some very interesting eyebrows, has developed a fuel additive called Thanotane (great name) that causes vehicles using it to give off deadly fumes in their exhaust. His plan to distribute this fuel throughout the US to spread terror is stymied somewhat when the test shipment is hijacked by gangsters, but the plan is still on track until John Thesson, aka the Son of the Gods, gets involved and beats everyone up. This must be especially galling for Giess, who noted that Thesson was going to pose a challenge but put off dealing with him for too long. Live and learn, I guess, until you're shot as an enemy agent. (Exciting Comics 007, 1941)

Doctor Mord:

Dr Mord is, like, the Platonic ideal of the comic book mad scientist. He lives in a castle that he explicitly just kind of found in the South African jungle and is attempting to scientifically extract the human soul and place it into a big jar of acid by electrocuting people's brains. He claims that this will make him a god among men, but fails to lay out how, exactly.

The old storytelling rule of Chekhov's Unsealed Vat of Acid comes into play here and Doctor Mord ends up doused in the stuff before being chucked out a window by Captain Kidd. (Fantastic Comics 014, 1941)

MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 964: THE SHARK

(The Face 001, 1941)

"Sparky Watts" was a long-running comic feature in Big Shot Comics and other Columbia publications about the eponymous Sparky Watts, a down-on-his-luck young man whose life turns around when scientist Doc Static gives him super powers using his cosmic ray machine. Having started out as a comic strip, Watts' adventures tend to hew closer to the comic adventurous rather than the super-heroic. Still, every once in a while he encounters a minor super-villain such as the Shark.

The Shark is a crypto-fascist in the truest sense: he clearly started out as a Nazi and his men bear some of the visual tropes of Nazi spies, but between the bizarre formality of his speech (which mimics the mock-Japanese speech patterns of 1940s comics while also being distinct from them) and the names of his underlings (Flitoog, Saber, Egnog, Kabitz) which approach mock-German without really getting there, it all ends up being the mere suggestion of a smear of an Axis pastiche.

The really important thing about the Shark is that he's a shark weirdo. He looks like a shark, he loves sharks, he has shark-themed decor and he bites people's throats out with his "shark-like teeth" or at least threatens to. It's always a joy to see a true oddball find his groove, even if it's as an evil fascist. But preferably not as an evil fascist.

The Shark and his men have heard of Sparky's remarkable strength and have set out to acquire it for themselves, and since Sparky isn't really in this issue (he's off playing baseball tow towns over) they don't have much trouble roughing up his friends to get what they want.

Doc Static, of course, neglects to tell them that absorbing an insufficient charge of cosmic rays means that the power is temporary, and that once the rays leave the human body it shrivels up and shrinks until it is smaller than a grain of sand. The fascists all turn on one another once they achieve any sort of power which occupies them until they shrivel, and then an over-zealous minion (who was not invited along to get super powers) seals the deal by crushing all of the "bugs." The world is safe!

PROBLEMATIC ROUND-UP 007

Damn their problematic hides!

Rango: 

A former Vaudeville magician who employs a magical gem and some rubberoid mask blackface to establish himself as medicine man/bandit chief in Africa, Rango aka Harrigan is ultimately unmasked by Yarko the Great. (Wonderworld Comics 015, 1940) 

Unnamed Witch Doctor: 

This unnamed Haitian witch doctor has a very unusual scheme: blind entire American cities with a floating vision of some of his men and then loot those same cities of all of their diamonds. Why diamonds specifically? No clue. He is also notable for giving Zambini the Miracle Man a harder time than Satan himself, before eventually being killed, just like Satan himself. (Zip Comics 005, 1940)

War Hatchet: 

Fascist spies striking at the US by inciting Native American tribes to violence is unfortunately going to crop up more than a couple of times as we make our way through the comics of the Forties (and I reckon that the same plot will be recycled with Commie spies in the Fifties and Sixties, alas). This time, the plot is spearheaded by a fellow who calls himself War Hatchet, a European ex-pat turned bandit chief who has returned to the fold to do some espionage work for the dear old unnamed fatherland. 

As is often the case, War Hatchet makes an okay argument for the colonized to rise up against their oppressors, only with a bunch of murder appended and the unspoken coda that there will be new oppressors later on. Spy Smasher not only stabs him to death but chucks him into a fire afterward. (Spy Smasher 001, 1941)

the Yellow Horde: 

The Yellow Horde is a gang of guys in cool looking yellow suits who break into defense plants and shoot poison gas balls everywhere. They turn out to be Chinese, and while the name is arguably in reference to the cool suits I just can't bring myself to trust 1940s America not to get a little bit of racism in for fun.

The Yellow Horde's boss turns out to be an unnamed costumed Nazi who is pretending to be Chinese but also forcing the Horde into doing his bidding. why both? Who knows. Ultimately he gets beaten up by the Hood. (Cat-Man Comics 005, 1941)

FASCIST GOON CLEARING HOUSE 013

Another batch of dumb-dumbs for the fire.

the Green Shirts:

Though only mentioned by crooked political boss and aspiring fascist bigwig Pete Rosky, these Green Shirts are the same kind of palate-swap allusion to the Nazi Brownshirts and/or the Italian Blackshirts that we've seen so many times before. Their Rosky-led attempt to take over the US-government is nipped in the bud by the Human Meteor. (Champ Comics 012, 1941)

Categorized in: Colours (Green), Ideology (Crypto-Fascists), Objects (Shirts)

the Black Legion:

Led by a melted candle named Hans Schmutzdoff, the Black Legion are a group of fifth columnists who are infiltrating US war production with an eye to disrupting it, and who are ultimately undone because Chuck and Skip, aka the Liberty Lads, just kind of stumble upon them doing Nazi cosplay in the woods. (Champ Comics 016, 1941)

Categorized in: Colours (Black), Espionage (Fascist Groups), Generica (Legions)

the Ghost Ship:

It's one last hurrah for Cloud Curtis as yet another gang of fascists attempts to disrupt the development of the US air forces by deploying a gimmicked-up airplane. This one has projector mounted on it, allowing it to distract US pilots with visions of a phantom plane while the real one sneak attacks them from the rear. Like several other Cloud Curtis foes, this is a group operating under the singular name of the vehicle they pilot. (Silver Streak Comics 016, 1941)

Categorized in: Fraud (Fake Undead - Ghost Planes), Objects (Planes), Supranormal Beings (Ghosts) 

the Hooded League: 

The Hooded League are as far as I can tell a home-grown fascist group dedicated to weakening America in advance of a Nazi invasion, and to that end they launch a coordinated attack on Chicago that includes blowing up both the El Train and every bridge over the Chicago River (this is the inspiration for my modern Captain Battle revival in which the rebuilt bridges have slightly taller guardrails thus preventing the Dave Matthews Band bus incident, which in turn causes aliens to invade or something. It's a rich seam of potential that I will be strip mining). 

Before things can get much more out of control, Captain Battle gets ahold of their leader, newspaper editor Thompson, and forces him to order the Hooded League to stand down. (Captain Battle Comics 001, 1941)

Categorized in: Generica (Leagues), Objects (Hoods), Supercrime (Attempted Conquest)