ALIENS AND SO FORTH ROUND-UP 018

It's time to return to spaaaaaace! 

Urolians and Urians: 

The "Blast Bennett" feature is set far enough in the future (5940 CE, according to the caption on a single panel that I'm taking as gospel until contradicted) that I generally assume that all of the human-looking aliens that Blast and his pal Red encounter are representative of far-flung Earth colonies rather than of lack of alien design imagination, but I just had to point out the fact that the two planets in this comic are named Urol and Ur. It's very annoying!

Anyway, Blast's pal Red falls into the hands of the bearded and hostile peoples of Urol, then Blast shows up and frees both him and the princess of Ur, traditional enemies of the Urolians, and ultimately helps the Urians (never actually called that in-comic, but we must have a demonym) defeat the slow-but-powerful Urolian space fleet, ensuring peace at the barrel of a ray gun. (Weird Comics 008, 1940)

Dwarf Men of Mars: 

Flick Falcon (famously later changed to Flip because "Flick" and "Fuck" look very similar in comic book lettering) is a character who does all of his adventuring by jumping into an interdimensional teleporter in his laboratory and tooling around the universe. The first time he does this he ends up blasted to Mars so hard that his organs end up on the opposite sides of his body.

Flick/Flip finds a Mars in conflict, with two native intelligent species under threat of conquest by invading aliens. He ends up allying with the so-called Dwarf-Men, who probably don't call themselves that. They're pretty standard humanoid aliens, with the obvious exception being their tininess. Plus they all wear hats with teacup handles on them for no stated reason. (Fantastic Comics 002, 1940) 

Martian Slave-Giants: 

The second of the Martian races are referred to as the Slave-Giants, as they have been subjugated by the invaders already. Their main duties seem to be wandering around looking for interesting things such as Flick Falcon to grab and throw toward the invaders' headquarters. Please also note the wildly inconsistent scale.

As mentioned in the last Divine Round-Up, the giants are controlled by way of their religious devotion, with the invaders delivering orders in the form of commandments issued by a radio receiver concealed inside of the idol of their goddess. Flick and his gal pal Adele disrupt this by smashing the idol and substituting her as a living replacement, and so the Giants are theoretically no longer enslaved. (Fantastic Comics 001, 1939)

Three-Arm Invaders: 

And what of the invaders themselves? These are appropriately known as the Three-Arm[ed] Invaders, and occasionally as the Three-Arm[ed] Ones, Tyrants, or at least once Swine. They are one or two steps more alien than the quite humanoid inhabitants of Mars, with little pig-trotter feet and tusks and that eponymous third arm emerging from their sternums. They also have the most distressing horns that I have ever seen, in that they are more akin to big hairy warts than anything else.

The Three-Arm Invaders possess similar dimension-hopping technology to that used by Flick Falcon, which they intend to use to both comprehend and conquer the universe. They are held back somewhat by their comparatively frail physical forms, but I suppose that's what the Slave-Giants are for.

When the Three-Arm Invaders are last seen, they are reacting to the news of the Slave-Giants' emancipation by raining hellacious destruction down on the Giants' city in an attempt to destroy Flick and Adele. After escaping from this conflagration, the duo never bother to go back to Mars, so the struggle of the Martian peoples vs the Invaders is left unresolved. (Fantastic Comics 001, 1939)

 

One more thing about the Three-Arm Invaders: they seem to be yet another species in which the males look like gross weirdos and the females like cute human women (they do have little pig trotter feet, but that can be cute!). Unfortunately for the Three-Arm women (who only have two arms, sure, but how else do I refer to them?) the whole deal with the Slave-Giants and their goddess means that having a bunch of cute girls around would only confuse things and break the Three-Arms' control. Thus, the Three-Arm women are sealed inside of big fruits until they are too old to be cute any more. Three-Armed Invaders: not just evil conquerors, but also misogynists!

The formerly fruit-bound Three-Arm woman in the above panels seems to be shaping up to be an ally to Flick Falcon, but somewhere in between issues 002 and 003 of Fantastic Comcis she disappears and Flick ends up allied with the formerly suspicious and hostile Dwarf-Men. Hopefully the unseen resolution to this whole invasion involves the liberation of the Three-Arm women, leading to an overthrow of Three-Arm society. (Fantastic Comics 002, 1940) 

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A panoply of wonders awaits.

Karnak's Slaves: 

This otherwise-unnamed race from an unnamed planet get a pretty raw deal: conquered and mind-controlled into servitude by scientist Karnak, they all seemingly die when he does. It's a real shame. (Weird Comics 007, 1940) 

the Deadly Plants: 

It's hard to say much about the so-called "Deadly Plants" of planet Vegeto, aside from the fact that they work together to capture a handful of prospective human colonists and dump them in a pit, and that for this act of moderate aggression the Red Comet dumps the entire termite population of Earth on them, seemingly wiping out their entire species. This is what we call "disproportionate response" but is in perfect keeping with the 1940s (and beyond!) view of the relative value of human life vs all other life. (Planet Comics 004, 1940)

Dhakka Snail-Men: 

Every undersea race in comics needs a selection of other undersea races to have conflict with, and Neptina's Fish-Men are no exception. They are menaced by the Dhakkas, aka the Snail-Men, led by Prince Petor, who attempts to invade the territories of Amloza for no stated reason - I guess that's just what you do when you have an army and an abyssal plain to march across. Unfortunately for Petor and his ambitions, Neptina and the Fish-Men are backed up by Brad Fletcher and his Super-Sub, which are enough to decisively turn the tide. 

The Snail-Men also might be some of the least like their namesake of any of the [animal]-Men we have yet encountered. They ride snails, sure, but about the only thing that they themselves have in common with snails are some pretty modest eyestalks. (Champion Comics 009, 1940)

Dragon-Lizard Men: 

Encountered by detective Fu Chang as he searches for treasure on fabled Money Pit Island, the Dragon-Lizard Men are not so much guardians as obstacles on the way to wealth. The most remarkable thing about them is that if they are as Fu Chang asserts descended from the "lizard and dragons" left on the island by the treasure-burying pirates they managed to not only evolve into fully humanoid forms but also enough of a sense of shame to wear briefs over their mysterious lizard and/or dragon genitals. Nature is really amazing. (Pep Comics 009, 1940)

MAD AND CRIMINAL SCIENTIST ROUND-UP 020

If I've learned one thing from comics it's to never turn your back on a scientist. 

Henry Falcon is one of a trio of scientists, along with John Robin and John Sparrow, who have been made the beneficiaries of the whimsical will of millionaire Mortimer Bird. This is of course one of those special murder mystery wills in which the payout increases for any survivors as fellow inheritors are killed off, and Henry Falcon is all about getting that money through murder. He even goes the extra mile to make all of the deaths bird themed in an attempt to throw suspicion on Mortimer Bird, thanks to some special powder he has discovered that makes birds go crazy and peck people to death.

You can't just have something like that bird-madness powder around without some stringent safety protocols, however, and Falcon manages to get some on himself while pretending to be Mortimer Bird's private nurse. So long Henry. (Top-Notch Comics 010, 1940)

Dr Exton, inventor of the super explosive Tekite, almost sells his creation to a fascist dictator but reforms after he is left on an island for a half hour by the Bird Man. (Weird Comics 004, 1940)

Menar, a big-eared scientist of the unspecified future time occupied by Typhon, has invented a device called the Tidal Wave Annihilator which he unsurprisingly uses to create tidal waves. The tidal waves in turn sink ships which Menar and his men then loot. It's a pretty foolproof plan, and Menar even manages to capture Typhon when he comes to investigate, but like many a mad scientist before and after him, Menar has underestimated just how evil he can be before his own daughter turns against him. Typhon escapes with Ina Menar and brings the whole operation crashing down around her father's pointy ears. (Weird Comics 006, 1940)

Karnak is a scientist of the year 5940 CE who has already had some measure of success, having conquered and mind-controlled an entire planet of beefy scaly guys, and I must assume is now at a loss as to what to do with himself. Why else would he send a heavily armed spaceship to Earth to extort them into giving him a lady to be his bride? I mean, there have to be at least a few women who would be into him if he just put himself out there on Space Tinder - everyone likes a bad boy, after all. 

Karnak seems to take it weirdly personally when his kidnapped bride-to-be cooperates with Blast Bennett to take down his whole operation, and tris to feed the two of them to his pet tiger. They'd be doomed if Blast wasn't so good at cat-wrestling, but as it stands they escape handily.

Karnak also commits the cardinal sin of not checking his captive spaceman for any ray guns he might have on his person, and catches an explosion bullet to the gut for it. Alas for the inhabitants of the unnamed planet he was in charge of, Karnak dealt in the kind of mind control that kills its subjects when the controller dies. Alas for the beefy scaly guys. (Weird Comics 007, 1940) 

MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 849: KEERO

(Weird Comics 005, 1940) 

Blast Bennett, space adventurer of the year 5940, is just noodling around the galaxy one day and decides to stop off to stretch his legs on a desolate ice planet, at which point he falls in a hole and becomes embroiled in a civil war, because he is a comic book protagonist and his every move draws him closer to the nearest source of adventure. 

The Ice Planet is ruled by the presumably-benevolent Empress Ilera - she doesn't really get a chance to rule on-panel before things go to hell but you gotta assume that the one the hero sides with is good, right? - who is under threat by Keero, who has a robot army and feels that that is enough of a qualification to be in charge.

In Keero's defense, they are very cool robots. I particularly enjoy the wind-powered ski-sailor variant, particularly as I just noticed that they only use one ski. Fun!

Keero takes the palace with very little trouble, which plays into his narrative that he should be in charge because he has the power to take control. Don't worry: strong argument against him being in charge immediately presents itself as he begins yelling about all the people he is going to execute before he even gets in the front door of the palace. Ever heard of being a good winner, Keero?

Luckily for the Ice Planet in general and Empress Ilera in particular, Keero has chosen to go the Phantom Menace route with his robots, meaning of course that they are all controlled from a single point and that once that controller is destroyed they are just so many hunks of tin. Blast Bennett, as a seasoned space adventurer, achieves this with ease and then punches Keero right on the kisser. 

ALIENS AND SO FORTH ROUND-UP 015

A veritable bounty of aliens for your perusal.

People of Venus, the Jibbering Giant of Jupiter, Weird Inhabitants of the Strange Planet: 

Blast Bennett has lost his little pal Red, and his solution is to just kind of bop around from planet to planet, asking random aliens if they have seen a red-headed guy. I've grouped these alien together because they all represent a very boring alien design trend of the 40s and 50s (and beyond!): the alien as just some guy. The Venusians are short, bald guys; the Jovian is a really big guy and the weird inhabitants of the strange planet are guys who could use a shower. (Weird Comics 004, 1940)

Ceresians:

During an unscheduled stop on then-asteroid/now-dwarf planet Ceres for water, Ted Hunt and Jane Martin, aka the Star Rovers, stumble into a conflict between the underground-dwelling native Ceresians and gargoyle-like invaders known as the Harpies.

This is a pretty classic setup! The planet full of generic white guys vs some horrible space monsters scenario is a surefire way to engender sympathy in an early 20th Century American audience! It does however leave you with some fairly uninteresting humanoid aliens - I do appreciate the seeming shift in Ceresian society from a Medieval to more of a Roman aesthetic as they are forced to abandon their castles for retrofuturistic bunkers, but that's about it. (Exciting Comics 005, 1940)

Harpies: 

The Space Rovers make their way to the Harpy home on Asteroid Nunda and are almost immediately captured after being incapacitated by the thin Nundan atmosphere. They find that rather than being simple predators, the Harpies have an advanced society that places great value in both science and the democratic process. They are, sadly, complete Harpy chauvinists who don't recognize the humanity harpianity shared intelligent experience of other species, which is why they're so happy to raid Ceres for fun and food.

Ted and Jane escape this fate due to the Harpies' scientific curiosity about them, and manage to parley that into a successful escape attempt. Once back in their ship and armed with superior firepower, perhaps they will be able to force the Harpies to stop their vicious ways at the barrel of a gun!

Just kidding! As a nonhuman species who pose a threat to a world of white guys, the Harpies are of course fair game for utter and total annihilation - I'm talking blow up their cities and hunt down all of the survivors. But don't feel bad, because as Jane says, "they're nothing but enormous, blood-thirsty bats!" Now the Ceresians are free to go back to inventing feudalism or whatever. (Exciting Comics 005, 1940) 

Lunaris:

The way I do these Alien Round-Ups is that the first entry is from whatever comic I'm reading at the moment and then I pluck the rest from a big ol' spreadsheet that I've been maintaining for years, which is why it's a pretty fun coincidence that the the next aliens on my list after the Ceresians were the Cold Men, who rule the surface of an unnamed icy moon while a race of white guys called the Lunaris hide in tunnels below. Once Ray Darrow, aka the Star Rover (another little coincidence there) stumbles into this conflict he of course sides with the noble Lunaris against the horrible Cold Men, and it doesn't hurt that the Lunaris Queen is somehow descended from Earth humans, so that Darrow can feel okay with being attracted to her, I guess. (Doc Savage Comics v1 003, 1941)

Cold Men: 

Cold Man society isn't quite as fleshed out as the Harpies' was, but Darrow's conclusion is the same: to ensure the continued safety of the much more familiar-looking Lunaris, the Cold Men must be utterly annihilated - sure hope that the newly surface-dwelling Lunaris don't find the headquarters of some sort of Cold Man organization dedicated to fostering peace between the species or they might end up feeling guilty about their role in this genocide some day. 

... I do like that the Cold Men seem to actually be made of snow or ice. (Doc Savage Comics v1 003, 1941)