Thursday, July 4, 2024

MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 560: VLADIM

(Wonderworld Comics 005, 1939) 

Our hero, Yarko the Great, is driving along a country lane outside London when his travels are interrupted by a bestial figure who runs out of a nearby castle and immediately drops dead. While Yarko is examining the body a monocled creep emerges from some nearby bushes Homer Simpson-style to introduce himself as "Vladim, a genius!" For me, this is exciting, because he shares his somewhat-unusual name with the seldom-mentioned, never-seen airplane designer of the Blackhawk Squadron and you better believe I think about that guy more than most people (just how these two characters created by Will Eisner came to share a name is a mystery for the ages).  

As any self-proclaimed genius would, Vlamir brings Yarko to his underground sanctum to show off his magical experiments and I just want to emphasize something about his setup: beneath his castle is a series of bridges and staircases seemingly to the scale of Moradin in the first Lord of the Rings movie, yet his magical laboratory is housed in a room the size of a large bathroom and furnished with one (1) light, one (1) art and one (1) large skull-themed throne.

Also please note that the initial view of the throne was out of proportion for dramatic effect and that the actual placement of the skull ensures that unless it is made of plush velvet, that sucker is going to be wildly uncomfortable to sit in for any length of time. This as much as the fact that Vladim has trapped a woman in a fire pit using a voodoo doll has me convinced that he's just started out on the road of dark magic and is indulging his every whim - a more experienced villain would know the long-term importance of good lumbar support.

Yarko of course has little trouble dealing with a dilettante like Vladim: in short order he frees the girl, turns a bestial henchman back on his creator and kind of kills Vladim. If hounding a man along a narrow bridge with an image of your own floating head until he slips on his own knife and falls into the murky depths of his basement can be counted as killing a guy. Which I suppose it can.

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