CREEPS OF THE WORLD: HUMANS OF THE YEAR 1001939

(Fantastic Comics 004, 1940)

Scientist Flip (formerly Flick) Falcon, along with gal pal Adele, usually find themselves contending with problems on the planet Mars thanks to Flip's discovery of interplanetary teleportation based on transit through the Fourth Dimension. In this particular adventure, Flip and Adele flee Mars through a similar device created by Mars' three-armed alien overlords and find themselves not back on the bucolic Earth of 1940 but...

THE FUTURISTIC HELLSCAPE OF 1 001 939 CE! And not only do they find themselves captured by the humans of that far-flung era but those same humans turn out to be a bunch of smug jerks!

These future-jerks follow the familiar sci-fi trope of the species that is all mind, no body BUT instead of taking the more familiar form of a big head with a shrivelled little body, these fellows are regular-sized if emaciated human heads atop bodies that are just skeletons with a bit of skin to hold them together! It's an amazing design choice!

Flip and Adele get away by the simple expedient of removing one of these withered husks from his life support system and blackmailing him into sending them home. It's truly one of the more remarkable sequences in comics history.

MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 600: KILGOR

(Fantastic Comics 004, 1940)

Kilgor is a roboticist with a simple 5-step plan for success and world domination:

1. develop a giant super-robot on an isolated Pacific island.

2. ally with generic fascist dictator Rigo in order to acquire the industrial might required to manufacture your robot en mass.

3. Once Rigo decides that you are surplus to requirements and tries to eliminate you and claim the robot army for himself, turn the tables on him and take the reins of power from his cold dead hands. Kilgor is now the dictator.

4. March your robot army across Europe in a bloody wave of conquest until they are destroyed by Samson. Hold on, wait.

5. Get the tar whaled out of both you and your master robot by Samson, then make a minor miscalculation while attempting to rebuild your creation that results in it crushing you to death.

I feel like this plan needed a failsafe in case of super-heroes.

MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 599: POSEIDA

(Fantastic Comics 003, 1940)

Back to the adventures of Sub Saunders in the Year 10 000 CE! Naulus has been defeated and for their part in achieving that the US military, represented by Sub Saunders, have been promised untold subsea riches recovered from millennia of shipwrecks. The problem with this plan is that the riches are still just kind of out on the seafloor and more specifically that Poseida, ruler of the nearby city of Coralla, has decided to gather them up for himself.

The impending diplomatic incident over the ownership of this treasure is forestalled by a different diplomatic incident as Poseida takes a shine to Sub Saunders' fiancee Peg and attempts to woo her in the traditional manner of the villain: kidnapping and extortion. Is the fact that he seems to be the only human in a city of long-bearded Mermen any excuse for this? Not really but it does shed some light on his motivations.

Poseida's plan to win Peg's love by placing Sub in danger fails when Sub utterly demolishes his giant spider crab foe and before long he has radioed Atlantis for help. The ensuing Frogman/ Merman battle is sadly only visible through the streaky windows of Poseida's HQ. One good sock to the jaw and the treasure Peg is saved!

There's no follow-up on Poseida but as the leader of what seems to be a sovereign city-state he should be safe from prosecution for his crimes. He should count his lucky stars that he didn't get blown up like Naulus.

MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 598: THE DEMON

(Fantastic Comics 003, 1940)

The Demon is a pretty straightforward Stardust enemy: he thinks that there are too many people on Earth and so is going to destroy cities until he gets that number under control. Exactly why he thinks that there are too many people (fear of overcrowding? an ahead-of-his-time radical environmentalist? simple misanthropy?) is not explored.

This is of course exactly the sort of thing to draw Stardust the Super Wizard like a magnet. Importantly, this happens before the Demon manages to destroy NYC but after he has wrecked an ocean liner, so that he might be punished in an appropriately Stardustian manner. The apprehension of the Demon is also notable for being the first time that Stardust performs his signature move of picking up a villain in one hand and having them crumple up like they're made of sponge rubber, though this is presumably a stylistic choice rather than an actual effect that Stardust's big mitts have on the criminal fraternity.

Stardust... I was going to say "of course does not allow NYC to be obliterated" but in a different Fletcher Hanks comic it might have happened. But no. He throws the Demon into the wave to be killed by roiling water, then disintegrates both Demon and wave. He also says a famous line, from the title of that one Paul Karasik book about Fletcher Hanks!

The Demon's assistant Max, oddly, seems to get away scot-free. Stay out of trouble, Max!

MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 597: NEGUS

(Fantastic Comics 003, 1940)

An evil African witch doctor with a magical orb, a cool tree house and a real commitment to being Chaotic Evil, Negus meets a swift end once Captain Kidd comes looking for his imprisoned and mind controlled pal Arndt Barrows Colonel Bennet (as with a surprising number of Golden Age comics, the writer seems to have lost track of the name of this secondary character over the course of a 5 page story).

MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 596: THE ROBOT SCIENTISTS OF VENUS

(Fantastic Comics 003, 1940) 

The Robot Scientists of Venus are not particularly noteworthy villains on a lot of axes but they are the bosses of perhaps the most visually distinctive groups of the Golden Age, the Leopard Women of Venus.

What other comic could offer a visual like this: a bevy of bodacious blonde babes in red leopardprint bodysuits, surfing through space on lizard monsters and blazing away with their head-guns? Other Fletcher Hanks comics, I guess, plus early Wonder Woman. But the point stands!

(here is where I will put a brief aside on the notion of "transmitting" as it exists in Fletcher Hanks comics. Conceptually, transmitting involves just that, the transmission of matter along a light or radio beam of some kind. In practice, it's more like just being able to fly around in space without any kind of life support like the Leopard Women here)

Sadly, the Leopard Women are mere vassals of the dominant Venusian race and we don't really see them again. Happily, the dominant Venusian race are these cool robots! Their leaders appear to be these robot scientists, who seem to be running these Leopard Woman space raids without any clear goals. Sure, they plan on turning Dianna into a Leopard Woman but that seems to be more of a spur-of-the-moment decision.

Luckily for them, Space Smith escapes before they have to figure out what to do with him. The rest of the adventure is just a series of encounters with colourful robots as they make their way to their spaceship, starting with these (delightfully and conscientiously masked) robot surgeons.

Everyone in this panel is grumpy.

MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 595: THE VOICE

(Fantastic Comics 002, 1940)

Captain Kidd and his pal Freddy land on the... Southeast Asian? island of Morgia, known to be rich in gold but critically not to ever export that gold. As the heroes of the piece, Kidd and Freddy are of course there to just look around and seeing the sights, not to scoop up a bunch of gold on the cheap. Certainly not.

Instead of free gold tourist hotspots they find dozens of local people dead of that one torture where a bamboo plant grows through you. The one living guy they find takes them to an elaborate temple with a flooded tunnel entrance.

Inside, the duo find a cloaked man referred to only as the Voice, who appears to be running a combination cult and scam where he gets gold in exchange for whiskey. He's also responsible for the bamboo torture outside if his hilarious non-apology is anything to go on, though why he's having people killed is never elaborated on. 

The Voice's entire scheme relies on the flooded entrance to keep firearms from entering the temple, a measure that Captain Kidd has defeated by putting his pistol in Freddy's hat. Suddenly, all bets are off!

The Voice makes his escape while Captain Kidd is dealing with his huge goon Twist but unfortunately for him this is a case of Chekhov's Flooded Tunnel and he drowns during his escape attempt.

MINOR SUPER-HERO ROUND-UP 024

Buncha fresh heroes here!

Son of the Gods: 

Dr John Thesson, big tall archaeologist and 1940s arch-skeptic, has the misfortune to find himself on an expedition to Crete with true believer Professor Craig who can't stop running his mouth about how great Theseus was and how he totally existed and maybe Thesson and Craig can find Theseus' mystic Ring of Poseidon if they look hard enough. It is a very annoying expedition for Thesson.

Just kidding: this is a comic book and Professor Craig is completely right - it's John "We're Scientists" Thesson who has to get with the picture.

The expedition is rich with incident: on the way there the duo ore attacked by a wild boar and Thesson kills it...

... and then once they start the dig in earnest it is plagued by sabotage that is eventually traced back to their host Procostous and his manservant Cercion. This is the point at which the back of Professor Craig's head blows clean off and he starts talking about how Thesson is the reincarnation of Theseus and is reliving his famed Six Labours (he actually does half: Periphetes the Club Bearer and Sinis the Tree Bender appear only as recounted myths and Sciron is not mentioned at all. And to be honest Cercion = Cercyon is a bit flimsy. It's lucky for Professor Craig that he turns out to be correct. Again).

Surprising nobody, Thesson does indeed find the Ring of Poseidon after one last sabotage attempt that leaves Procrustous dead. This is enough for the local mystery cult to acclaim him the Reincarnation of Theseus and he vows to use the powers granted by the ring (super strength and a degree of invulnerability, mostly) to battle crime and injustice. I initially hoped that Theseus would have fun mythology-inspired adventures like the MLJ Hercules but no, it's all super-scientists and fascists - not even a hint of poor neglected Sciron and his giant turtle.

(later issues cast Thesson as a mere descendant of Theseus but whether this is because reincarnation was a but too mystical or due to simple sloppy record keeping I cannot say)

(the Minotaur only appears as one of Professor Craig's stories but I just wanted to highlight the rare bull-bodied version here) (Exciting Comics 002, 1940)

the Masked Rider:

Geologist Jim Sanford becomes the Masked Rider in order to catch crooks (including the Specter) operating a covert gold min under the Diamond D Ranch without them knowing he was onto them with specific geological knowledge. Unlike most of his peers, he has no trouble hanging up his mask once the job is done. (Exciting Comics 002, 1940)

the Sphinx:

The Sphinx is a tuxedo-clad, domino-masked vigilante (real name Ellsworth Forrester!), a perhaps over represented group in early comics but generally a solid one (I initially forgot the name of the Scarab from Terra Obscura and thought that he was this guy - imagine my confusion). The main difference between the Sphinx and his peers like the Clock or the Mouthpiece or Just n' Right is that the Sphinx is loosely affiliated with the police rather than being hunted by them.

The other main difference is the fact that the Sphinx is one of the few suit-and-mask heroes with legitimate super powers, specifically super strength and at least partial invulnerability.

Why is he called the Sphinx? As far as I can tell it's just because he's mysterious. (Exciting Comics 002, 1940)

UPDATE - the Golden Knight:

The Golden Knight stops off on his way to the Crusades to do a mission for Kara the Magician, who gifts him a magic ring that emits light in order to help him overcome the many dangers along the way and then a magic cloak of protection once he gets back - it's a very Dungeons & Dragons style quest, honestly.

The Golden Knight also takes a dip in a magic lake that triples his strength, which is handy for a warrior type. Does this strength persist? No idea. (Fantastic Comics 003, 1940)

 A couple of issues later, the Golden Knight meets the love of his life, Alice. Alice fell down a well as a child and was raised by (and eventually made queen of) a race of winged people in an underground city. Alice rules - in her first proper appearance she stabs two people to death which is way, way more than your typical female Golden Age adventurer. (Fantastic Comics 005, 1940)

MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 594: RIP-THE-BLOOD

(Fantastic Comics 002, 1940)

As weird as Fletcher Hanks stories are, sometimes the hardest thing to parse are the seem-like-they-should-mean-something names. Take Rip-the-Blood here: is this just a weird way to present a fellow named Rip with the nickname of "the Blood" or does his name mean something more? Is he so tough he'll "rip the blood" out of you? I never know with this guy.

Whatever his name means, Rip-the-Blood is a bad dude: through his influence over US politics and control of the munitions industry he plans to push the world into total war and become the most powerful man alive.

The inciting incident that will start the big war is the kidnapping of FDR by a foreign-looking plane. This is not a bad plan! I have no notes on the big "plunge the world into war" scheme! 

EXCEPT. Rip-the-Blood knows about Stardust the Super Wizard. He knows what Stardust did to the Spy Army (not covered here but they got messed up) and that he will probably be targeted as well - it should be no surprise to him when FDR is rescued from his kidnappers almost immediately. It shouldn't, but it really seems to mess up Rip's whole day/world domination scheme.

Rip's big anti-Stardust plan is to use a wind generator to blow him into something called a "glue pit" which I put in quotes only because I don't know what it actually is - it gets name-checked several times during the course of the story but never actually comes into play. Given Golden Age naming conventions I'm not willing to just assume that it's a literal pit full of literal glue - it could be anything from that to a cave with a giant slug in it.

Rip-the-Blood's associates get off surprisingly lightly for Stardust foes, being sent to some sort of private prison near Polaris, but the man himself is tossed from a cliff to his death. I personally would have involved the much-discussed Glue Pit, but who am I to judge a weird enormous spaceman?